herlastwalk.blogspot.com
The name is
Farhana bt. Marwan. 18 years old, currently living in the always sunny country of Malaysia. You may know me from my now
dead previous domain,
deathsex.org. I will be studying at
Limkokwing University,
but for now I am bumming around like the champion bummer that I am.
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Let the light shine in
Monday, June 29, 2009 9:11 AM
Listening to: "We'll Sleep When We're Dead" -
BlessthefallI got a letter from
Limkokwing a few days ago, saying that I will have to pay the course fees, and some other stuffs for the coming academic year. And on the receipt I found out my student ID number and all that. To come and think about it... I've only got
less than a month of lazing around at home before I'm off to college. But meh, I've had enough of staying at home. I actually miss studying, to tell you the truth. Of course lah, once the assignments come in, I'll be regretting all the stuffs I'm saying right now.
7 months - okay wait, scratch that.
8 freakin months of bumming around. That is NOT good. My brain is moving at less than
1 km/h, man. It's either the Internet, the TV, the computer or the bed. Bingeing
does not help not even one bit. It only helps to increase my waist size and that is bad. I think my brain is rotting without the needed brain work out, y'know?
I'm off to play some word games on
Facebook. At least that can give my brain a bit of a work out. Smell ya later!
P/s: New layout. Made by me, always. Enjoy.
Labels: academics, college
posted by Ana @ 9:11 AM
Patiently waiting for July.
Thursday, June 4, 2009 10:09 PM
Referring to Aysha's recent blog post, I too am waiting for July. Why? One obvious reason, really: I'm finally entering university after EONS of waiting and bumming around like a champion bummer that I am. I'm not looking forward to studying, no, nobody likes it of course. I'm just looking forward of starting a new phase in my life where I'll be leaving home for weeks just to study. I'm also looking forward for the fact that once I enter university, I have something to do be it studying. Now, the first thing I feel when I wake up in the morning is boredom. How sad is that?
But it sucks that I'll be the last one to enter university. I mean, by July most of my friends will have started their studies and I'll only start my orientation on 27th July -.- How sad.
But at least Aida, Denon, Aliaa & I will be in the same state, more or less. Aida and Denon in Shah Alam. Aliaa in Kajang. And I'm in Cyberjaya. We can always spare some time to see each other and that's awesome :)
Do you think I need a new layout?
Labels: academics, college, friends
posted by Ana @ 10:09 PM
Just another burst of thoughts
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 10:12 AM
Regarding Nisshant's post, I feel like I want to blog about something similar than that. Congrats to those who got JPA. For those who didn't get them, well, don't fret. Do your best in whatever you're doing now and more doors will be opened to you in the future.
I've always feel so disappointed in myself with the fact that I only got 4As, 4Bs and 2Cs. And the 4Bs were all B3s. I could've easily get A2s for History, Agama, Chemistry and BM. Thus, I would've gotten 8As instead of 4. But I decided life has got to move on. Then I got rejected by bloody UiTM. That was a slap and a punch to my gut. I was so sad, to the point where I cried for two days in a row. I suppose a National Debate certificate, and an A1 for English O Levels weren't enough to do a TESL course. And then I decided, life has got to move on.
Just because I didn't get UiTM, it's not the end of the road for me. Then I got Matriculation. Science, 1 year. And I landed the IJN Nursing interview. Both of which I declined.
I believe that God has bigger plans for us all. If I didn't get any place in Public instituitions, including Form 6, then it's okay. I am bummed as hell that my parents have to spend so much on my education, but that's what you get when you're not a Malay. I may speak and look like a Malay, but the record says otherwise. So who am I to go against that?
My final blow was when I found out I didn't get Form 6. At least if I get that one, I can spend 2 months doing something in school while waiting to enter Limkokwing. Mum told me those who got Matriculation, will not get Form 6. So again, God has bigger plans for me.
I suppose it is my fate to further my studies in a Private instituition, like my cousin did. He didn't get UiTM. And he got 5As, and really good grades for Add Maths and Physics. He didn't get to do Engineering course at UiTM.
So my point is, God has greater plans for us all. If we get rejected by something, just keep your head held up high. Forget about the past, just focus on how to further your studies. I've planned to enter UiTM ever since I was in Form 3. I admit, at one point I was being very over confident with the fact that I can enter UiTM, no matter what. So by getting rejected by UiTM was a big wake up call for me.
Maybe this isn't my place to say all this stuff because I'm Farhana. The daughter of a Guru Cemerlang Biology. The girl who skips class a lot in 2007. The girl who never studies and is bad at academics.
Everyone expect me to do good. My mum's other top ranking friends always ask "Your daughter sure get straight As for SPM, right?". My mum would always reply back "She's not a straight As student, she would always manage 1 or 2 the most. But for SPM she got 4As, and I'm very happy with her." Mum's friends would always go, "Oohh..." Just that.
Just because my mum's a big time Biology teacher, it doesn't mean I can turned out to be just like she is now. I hate living under that expectations.
I know every one at school would go, "4As, je? She didn't study lah tu." Well, I'm sorry that God decided not to give me a bigger brain. I know you guys know that I'm not intelligent that's why I didn't get a single scholarship. But knowing that, knowing that I only managed to get 2A1 and 1A2 (excluding my A1 for EST) why do you keep tagging me about JPA scholarship lah, that scholarship, this scholarship? Why do you keep on talking about how your interview went? Do you even think about how I'd feel? How crushed I feel because I didn't get any scholarships let alone an entrance to any public university? How devastated I feel because my parents now have to fork out tonnes of money to send me off to a private university?
C'mon guys. All I'm saying is if you get shutted out, don't fret. Another door of opportunity will open up, maybe not in 1 week or 1 month. Maybe next year you'll get a better chance of getting what you want. Keep your head help up high and remember this: God has a bigger and better plan for us all.
Labels: academics, random, results, thoughts
posted by Ana @ 10:12 AM
Dez Moines
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 12:50 PM
We got the tele back! The old tele, I mean. I haven't test it out if it works (since we send it to the TV hospital a few weeks ago) but I think it's not fully healed just yet. I'm sure of it. Because the last time we send it to the repairman, the TV works perfectly for a day (or maybe two) and then it got busted again. I've tried to convince dad to get a new one but he's still so stubborn. He even went to Harvey Norman to check out the prices and yet we still haven't got a new one. *sighs* Dah lah tomorrow got American Idol!
I swear, I have too many blogs. I had accounts at Xanga, Livejournal, Vox, Blogspot and now Tumblr. It's ridiculous, I know. I abandoned my Xanga and Vox accounts, put my Livejournal one on an, err, indefinite hiatus, still using Blogspot and now I've opened up a Tumblr account. Lmfao. I think nobody visits my Tumblr blog, but perfectly fine with that. I might use that space for ranting purposes.
Anyways, here's the link: makeshifthearts.tumblr.com
I got a thick mail from the Kolej Matrikulasi Negeri Sembilan regarding the registrationg date, what to wear and what not to wear, what to bring, yadda yadda crap. Didn't I tell you that I'm not gonna enter Matriculation? Yeah, not gonna enter. Why? I hate Science. Period.
I'm not even going for that IJN interview this Thursday. Fuck it, I wasn't born to be a nurse, hell no.
I'm boreeeeddddddddd!
Labels: academics, family, random
posted by Ana @ 12:50 PM
College Dilemma, be gone!
Monday, April 20, 2009 8:51 AM
Mum and Dad has decided to register me to Limkokwing this Saturday for the July intake. At least now I have some sort of assurance that I'm gonna further my study, be it in private college or public college. I seriously think there are no difference between private instituition and a public one in terms of studying. It's just that in public one, there's only one race dominating the social scene where as in a private instituition, there will be more than one race (and colour) mixing around with people. Therefore, there will be more than one state of mind, and not just ONE. Which is important for people who wants to pursue Mass Communications (i.e: me).
So yeah. Limkokwing this July. I'll be doing a Diploma in Multimedia, Advertising & Broadcasting for 3 years. I won't stop there, no. I'll continue to do a Degree in Professional Communications for another 1 1/2 years and then I'll come out with both Diploma and Degree certificates. :)
Mum calculated the expenses; it'll be RM10k per semester for me for the course, accomodation, food, travelling and emergency stuffs. (Now, don't start on the "ZOMG, SO EXPENSIVE!" crap. It's my future, so shut it.)
So yeah. College in July! :D
Labels: academics, college
posted by Ana @ 8:51 AM
Indecisive, really
Monday, April 13, 2009 11:48 AM
So I have that interview with IJN to go to this 23rd. I'm nervous about the interview part, like, what the fuck am I suppose to say to them kan. This is what I can imagine them asking me:
Interviewer: So why do you want to do nursing?
Me: Because I love Mass Comm and since I didn't get that bloody UiTM, Nursing is my backup.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Seriously lah wehh, I'm not gonna say that.
Mum cakap suruh tunggu until December 09, pastu re-apply for UiTM's December intake. But what if I tk dpt that one also kan, wasted one year wehh. Sooo, this week, I am going to visit Limkokwing and KLIUC to meet their counselors. That's my choices so far lahh. If I can't do public uni, I might as well enter a private uni, get a degree and work in a private firm. Kan? So yeah. Looking forward to that also.
KL tomorrow with Denon and Aida, so that should be supa-dupa fun. More updates soon lah k.
Labels: academics, college
posted by Ana @ 11:48 AM
Guess what I got in the mail?!
Saturday, April 11, 2009 12:03 PM
RE: Interview Session IJN Sponsorship Diploma in Nursing July 2009
Congratulations! You have been selected to attend the interview session as scheduled below:
Date: 23 April 2009 (Thursday)
Venue: Human Capital & Organizational Development [HCOD], Lower Ground, Institut Jantung Negara
:D I suppose it's a good thing that I didn't get that UiTM interview. I will definitely go for this interview session. I am actually 70% happy and 30% neutral about it since I don't really want to do Nursing. But we'll see how it goes ;)
Can somebody help me do my resume? Thanks.
Labels: academics, interviews
posted by Ana @ 12:03 PM
Online Retail Therapy
Friday, April 10, 2009 10:47 AM
Now that I've calmed down a tiny bit, I've changed the layout of this place.
Yesterday Aida and Denon came over and their presence cheered me up. We also did some healthy dose of online window shopping therapy, that worked, too. Then I drove Denon's car and all three of us went to Mickey D's - Denon belanja-ed me Chicken McNuggets. Food therapy is comforting.
I admit, it does suck to see some of my friends get the interview. Maybe they will get a place in UiTM for the July 2009 intake. It bugs the hell out of me to know that somebody with 1A (not for English, no) (I personally know this person) in SPM 2008 gets to be called for that damned interview. On what grounds is that person better qualified than me for that interview?
Enough of the ranting. I guess I'll wait to see if I get to land an interview to do Pre-Degree TESL course at UiTM. With an A1 in English and English GCE-O, if they deny me of that interview, then to hell with UPU. I'll apply to UiTM directly for the December 2009 intake.
But of course, if I don't get the July 2009 intake, I want to know personally from them on what basis are they rejecting me a place in that university? 4As aren't enough? Then how come a person with 1A (one bloody A in SPM!) (and not even an A for English!) can get the Mass Comm interview session? On what terms is she better than me academically? I've got my debate cert to back me up, what does she have?
----
In other news... I've just reserved this piece:
I've been looking for it for so fucking long, the cheaper one at another blogshop is sold out, so I found another one at Oh-Popsicles. It'll cost me RM40 including postage, but I think it's worth it. Why? because my Atopic Eczema-bound leg prevents me from wearing dresses, so with the above PVC leggings, I can wear them with dresses wihout having to care about my legs.
Ana is a happy kid now.
Labels: academics, friends
posted by Ana @ 10:47 AM
